It is inherent for children in the out of home care system to experience loss, disconnection, and relational trauma. In planning for and managing the lives of children who do not live in their family of origin, the system demonstrates limited capacity to holistically consider, support and honour all but the key connections, usually that of immediate biological family members and siblings, and even then, this is often sterile in its approach. But removed children feel the ambiguous loss and severance of so much more, schools, friendships, pets and extended community networks. And in return those disconnected community members feel the loss of the child, that is often sudden, without context and potentially never reconnected. 

What could it look like if we gave weight and support to the spectrum of relationships that exist for a child?  How could we change the way we consider, resource and support those who hold a child through turbulent emotional experiences in a way that promotes and protects relational healing and growth? 

As a foster carer of two children in long term care, I have lived experience of the desperate need for deeper and broader thinking when considering the fullness of a child's relational life; in the court system, in the Child Protection processes, in the supports available and in the weight these needs are given in the practice of professionals. 

In this conversation, we discuss alternative ways of considering and mapping the relational life of a child and the potential healing that can be achieved.