Being seen, soothed and safe are the fundamental pillars of developing secure attachment.  Developmental trauma often is an assault on these foundations of relational integration that then can compromise the growth of inner, neural integration of the individual.  This understanding enables us to see how earning security is how we can learn to engage in relational growth—both with other individuals such as therapists and others in close relationships, as well as with inner attunement to become one’s own best friend—that are the hallmark of developing secure attachment across the lifespan.